The default mode for human beings is the self. We are all self-centered. I don’t mean to suggest that we are all like children hording our toys. Being self-centered simply means that we think about our own well being above those around us.
It comes in the smallest of ways – I have a lot of things to do today, so I maneuver in such a way as to beat another guy to the parking spot. When a new law is put into force, my first thought is not how this might benefit someone else, but how it has a debilitating effect on me. Because I want to be noticed, I posture in front of others. Rather than listening to what they are saying, I am busy formulating what I want to say.
These are just a few subtle ways in which the self is continually raising its ugly head. Many, if not most of these, are never seen by anyone else. But those of us who are in tune with our own lives know the impulses are there. We lust, which means we think about how another can gratify our own desires. We envy, which means that we want the good of another to be our own good.
The self is hesitant to enter too deeply into a relationship with another, because the self will have to abandon some of what the self wants. The self will have to be accountable to another when it is currently accountable only to the self. The self will have to be concerned about the other, when it is currently only concerned about itself. The needs and wants of the other are likely to conflict with the needs and wants of the self.
But the self can be self-destructive. If it is allowed to naval gaze long enough it will find itself alone – alienated from others. But the self needs others. It cannot stand to be alone. Deep inside it knows that what the Bible says is true; it’s not good to be alone (Gen. 2:18). So it is caught between the desire for itself and its desire for others. It wants, even needs, others, including God, but finds that it trips over itself in the process.
This, of course, is what following Jesus is all about – dying to self (Lk. 9:23) so that the self finds itself by losing itself (Matt. 10:39). But such a death requires constant attention and hard work. It must be ongoing. This is why Jesus said that it must be done daily. The reason it requires such effort is because the self is our default mode. It is the rut that our wheels have traveled in for so long that they will naturally slip back into them unless we make a conscious effort to do otherwise.
If the self expresses itself in subtle ways, it is also in those subtle ways that it must die. I can begin dying to myself by actually paying attention to what the other is saying to me rather than thinking of what I am about to say. I can quit posturing so that people will pay attention to me. I can let the other person have the parking space. I can give to others who have no ability to return my gift so that I have no ulterior motives.
It is in all of these ways and so many more that I can begin to kill the self. The self will not die simply by me telling myself that I can’t be so selfish. It will only die as I learn to practice an unselfish lifestyle. This is the first step into the world of spiritual discipline – practice. We must begin implementing certain practices if we expect significant change in our lives towards the image of Christ.
As we engage in these practices we create a void in our lives. It is the vacuum where the self used to be. This allows space for the Spirit of God to come in, plant a seed, and grow. As it grows our lives will begin to replicate that of Jesus. And the fruit of his Spirit will be seen in our own lives. The apostle Paul described the Spirit filled life in this way.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal. 5:22-23).
Pingback: Deveoping a New Defualt Mode | Curtis’ Blog